Are Our Relationships Truly Unconditional - Or Selfish?
Anyone who's gone through a divorce, severe illness, or loss of belongings knows that when life gets tough, true friends and supporters can be rare. A crisis reveals the true nature of our relationships. But what happens when everyone is going through a crisis? Who can we count on? Who are we willing to show up for? How supportive is our social network?
These questions are surfacing more frequently. Regardless of financial status or social standing, the need for genuine friendships and meaningful relationships can no longer be ignored.
We are designed to face challenges together—but how do we find the right people?
As societies continue to polarize, fear and anger get triggered, forcing us to reevaluate our hopes, dreams, and connections. Realizing that no one is coming to the rescue or that things won’t magically return to "the good old days" can activate the ego’s defenses. However, these moments also push us to take conscious responsibility for our choices. How often have we wasted our love or energy on relationships that weren’t truly supportive or didn’t allow us to grow?
Recent years have shown us the importance of social-emotional competence and how unreliable our ego is as a navigation tool for relationships. The ego has too many blind spots and hidden agendas. When things get tough, we experience moments of clarity—seeing what we once tolerated or ignored just to receive crumbs of love and validation. It’s easy to fall for false promises of instant change, but reality hits hard when our energy or resources run low.
As we all search for meaning and purpose, our increasing awareness of whom we want to surround ourselves with has led to the end of many old relationship cycles—with both ourselves and others.
The silver lining in these challenges is self-discovery. They reveal our true needs and desires, showing us new ways to build authentic friendships. We simply cannot afford to ignore our own ego anymore. It’s time to become more discerning about who we share our time, energy, and resources with. For empaths and energetically sensitive individuals, this can feel selfish—but is it?
Whenever we lack clear guidelines for navigating an uncertain future, unexpressed fears and emotions can block us. But these roadblocks aren’t entirely negative. They help us clarify our priorities, spark new creativity, and reveal who is truly supportive and engaged.
Over the past years, we’ve learned how to focus our energy, let go of draining connections, and cultivate relationships that uplift us. These lessons have taught us to manage our energy more consciously, exposing our avoidance mechanisms and how our ego responds to crises. If you’re anything like me, you may not always be proud of how you handled these situations. However, these challenges have revealed what truly matters, what energizes us, and what nurtures us—rather than focusing solely on what drains us.
Yet, this self-correction process can be unsettling. It can leave us feeling lonely, not-belonging, or unsupported, exposing how much of our identity depends on others, jobs, family, or relationships. These shifts often trigger a spiritual crisis, leading to excessive worry, projection of fear or anger, or general disillusionment. Our ego, sensing its survival at stake, fights back—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
If you are currently experiencing the collapse of certain dreams, hopes, health, or long-term relationships, pay attention to where your inner energy is flowing! As your ego scrambles to restore inner peace and the status quo, it fights for its existence. Without awareness, you may find yourself spiraling downward, clinging more tightly to coping mechanisms. The problem with ego-driven coping is that it often escalates the drama rather than resolving it.
From an energetic perspective, coping mechanisms function much like addictions. In energy healing, we call them Ego-Addictions. Unlike conventional addictions, ego addictions are deeply ingrained in our thoughts, emotions, self-perception, and behaviors. Overcoming them requires more than just willpower—it demands a fundamental shift in how we relate to ourselves and the world. So how can we empower ourselves to break free from this struggle?
In our fifteen years of active healing and counseling work, we’ve found that addressing the inner struggle with ego is one of the most challenging aspects of personal growth. Through energy coaching and self-healing programs, we provide a supportive space for individuals to explore and work with their ego patterns. Our goal is not just to help people overcome mental and emotional blocks but to guide them toward manifesting their authentic selves and higher purpose—without any spiritual agenda.
The first step is acknowledging that continuing down the same path won’t lead to new outcomes. In energy self-healing, we call this realization an awakening. It’s that moment when we feel an urgent need for change, even if we don’t yet know what or how. We find ourselves drawn to new perspectives, yearning for deeper understanding. It’s not necessarily about adopting new beliefs—it’s about resonating with a higher truth and purpose.
While many of us embrace spiritual awakening as an emergence, we often underestimate the spiritual emergency that accompanies it. Awakening often means hitting rock bottom spiritually, forcing us to confront the patterns that led us there.
Logically, we know that our results won’t change unless we do. Regardless of external circumstances, the way we make choices is deeply rooted in subconscious programming. We can study spiritual concepts endlessly, but unless we apply them to our daily lives, we risk getting stuck in perpetual seeking. For most of us, the journey begins with disillusionment.
Spiritual growth feels difficult because we are evolving beyond our ego. The moment we turn inward—through meditation, reflection, and mindfulness—the struggle begins. Our conscious self seeks expansion, while our ego clings to what is familiar, even if it no longer serves us.
At its core, our struggle is not with external circumstances, financial hardships, unhappy relationships, or poor health. The real struggle is with our inner attitude toward ourselves. We are caught in a battle between our soul’s desire to grow and our ego’s need to maintain the status quo. This is the essence of ego addiction.
A common example is victimhood: On one hand, we resent feeling powerless or mistreated, but on the other, we unconsciously embrace victimhood because it absolves us of responsibility. As long as our ego finds someone or something to blame, it remains satisfied. This cycle keeps us trapped, reinforcing the very patterns we wish to escape.
So why is it so hard to overcome the ego in relationships?
Our greatest fear is not unhappiness, but emptiness, meaninglessness, and not belonging. The ego will go to great lengths to avoid the unknown. More than anything, it fears its own insignificance.
While ego defenses help us survive, excessive self-protection disconnects us from true connection. Reconnecting requires surrendering the ego to our Higher Self.
This inner conflict can only be healed through a shift in perception and a commitment to inner spiritual connection. Step by step, we realize that the only thing standing in the way of our empowerment is our fear of true heart connection.
If we clear away our inner resistance, we create space to manifest what truly matters. The obstacles blocking our heart from deeper connecting, exchanging and sharing with others are merely layers of accumulated ego defenses, born from fear of loss. The bigger the fear, the darker the clouds that obscure our inner light.
Instead of letting your ego define our relationship experience, let’s confront our fears and reclaim our inner power by learning how to more deeply connect with spiritual purpose! All you need is to realize that your True Self is wired to connect, exchange, and share!
Stay conscious!
Love,
Jona Bryndis
Next Class Start: March 8, 2025
With Jona Bryndis
Energy Coach, Energy Healer & Founder of transCODES
More info - link
(this course is included in Energy Training Club - more info onour Premium Membership here)
Please email: jona@transcodes.com
transCODES offers a variety of energy coaching and training modalities. If you are interested in learning more about my NEW!!! For my Spiritual Initiation Group Training click here , for energy healer & coach training classes click here, for the energetics of relationships click here and for personal energy sessions click here. To participate in our ongoing workshops, lectures, online meditations, and Energy Healing Sessions check out our Sacred Self-Healing Training or Energy Training Club membership. No prerequisites.
Please come to our live Energy talks on our Daily Sacred Self Skype Channel - or watch the recordings on my Youtube Channel.
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